Are you living a double life?
Jeopardizing your marriage, family or job? Recovery is possible.
Image Courtesy Eflon
Sex addiction is characterized by repeatedly seeking or performing sexual behaviors despite negative consequences.
Sex addicts live in secrecy, feeling dread and shame that someone will learn the truth about their behavior. Sex addicts often make promises to themselves about cutting down on their pornography use, or “this is the last time” they’ll have sex outside their relationship. The torture of active sex addiction is failing to keep these promises—finding oneself again back in the cycle of sexually acting-out.
Negative consequences of compulsive sexual behaviors extend beyond “getting caught.” Long before a sex addict’s behaviors are discovered—by a partner, boss or law enforcement—the addict is already experiencing adverse effects of their behaviors. Consider:
- Loss of emotional intimacy in a relationship.
- Loss of connection with family and friends.
- Stealing time and/or resources from an employer.
- Financial losses (e.g. paying for sex, pornography, secret cell phones, other expenses to cover one’s tracks.)
- Physical consequences (e.g. masturbating to self-injury, being “hung over” from acting-out behavior, contracting an STD, erectile dysfunction.)
- Occupational and legal risks associated with an affair-partner in the workplace, particularly if there’s a power differential.
- Health effects on body and nervous system from constant state of hiding, being ready to defend, having to remember lies.
The good news is that treatment is available for sex addiction. Initially, treatment puts some measures into place to stop damaging behaviors. Next, it becomes crucial to understand what purpose these behaviors have been serving. For most people, hypersexual behaviors are the culmination of many factors in one’s life history. They arose as “solutions” to other stressors and situations. The goal of treatment is to develop more adaptive and healthy solutions. Sexual behaviors become choices, rather than compulsions.
Ultimately, my goal is to help you develop a sexuality that enhances your life. Sex DOES NOT have to be boring or vanilla, but it should align with your sense of personal integrity and, if applicable, commitments made to your partner.
Individual Sex Addiction Therapy in the East Bay
Sexual addiction issues can be successfully addressed in psychotherapy. It’s crucial to find a therapist with specialized training in the area of sexual compulsivity and hypersexual behaviors. Effective treatment provides clients:
- Immediate tools to stop or reduce compulsive sexual behaviors, including fantasy and preoccupation.
- Personalized understanding of how hypersexual behaviors develop and thrive.
- Awareness of specific, unique purposes these behaviors serve in one’s life.
- Development of increased self-esteem and healthier coping mechanisms.
- Access to more authentic emotional and romantic intimacy.
Group Sex Addiction Therapy in the East Bay
“Recovery From Problematic Sexual Behaviors” Men’s Group
Mondays 11:45a-1:15pm (space available)
Tuesdays 7-8:30pm
Wednesday 6:30-8pm (space available)
Thursdays 6:30-8pm
Group provides a safe and confidential place for men to discuss topics relevant to sexual recovery. Recovering addicts are encouraged to “live in consultation” with other members by getting honest and checking-out their decision making. Group challenges men to take risks communicating with others in ways that are honest, productive and healthy. Members gain skills to better identify their inner dialogues and emotional responses. Relationship repair and empathy development are also addressed. Read more about weekly therapy groups at Foundry Clinical Group.
Click here to request an appointment in our Oakland office, or get more information about sex addiction treatment.